nothing important

so i was thinking last night what's keeping us here not you, surely not anyone, actually so i was wondering about the fact if you have any pills that might harm and if we could meet at history in the park while hiding behind hedges we could down half a bottle each and giggle as the clouds turn orange and as the gun shots that rain down from the heavens as we take our leave and as the whispering people beside us as we lift from out our scarred and frayed bodies and wait for the oh so gracious lord to decide wether hell or or heaven because suicide is a fucking sin and oh god please rain down on us and oh please look at me fucking look at me and tell me what i'm doing is right because it's not and i need your empty eyes to at least make me feel better so please baby if you're reading this know that i am here right now and that

i sit here and bite my lips, knowing that in the morning there will be nothing left

i hate you enough to want to gouge your pathetic blue eyes out i love you enough for your weak insults to count you smile at me with a grin that's fake and tell me to smile more so i do i grin and i laugh and i scream and i yell and i giggle and then you tell me to shut up because my pure existence annoys you i hate you enough to plan your death and watch you bleed out i love you enough to be upset for your death to count

do you ever get upset when people leave you have you ever met a fake person you couldn't see through you don't let them in an yet you converse with them in the doorway then you send them on their way looking down at the brochure and wondering why you let them sweet talk you into giving them your number

i want to eat you out like a taco--eat me out like a taco

would anyone care if i died yes plenty, at least for a while

i work better when tired i may have bloodshot eyes and bitter jokes and sexual slurs that graciously leave my cracked and bleeding lips i work better i think better and that is what i want so yes i may purposely tire myself beyond exhaustion but at least i work better

sometimes i myself am overwhelmed with thoughts of either you or pills its not that big of a secret that i am beyond ill i post all day, and stay up all night the shadows painting my face are evidence, my eyes they fight to stay open and yet i can't they close because of the warmth and over all tiredness and and why can you not see my pain, cause i can blatantly see yours and oh how it has been etched straighter then my confused sexuality upon those wrists of yours can i help you? do you want to die too? perhaps we can save eachother in a sort make a pillow case fort one that is oh so weak treat it as our febel vessel you want to speak? put your hand up and perhaps i'll acknowledge your pathetic existence

it's not love far from such a thing if it were love i would be able to help you and not call you things that you weren't

nothing is okay as he said this death ran boney fingers through straw like hair wondering how much it would hurt if he let her