forgive me father

so i was thinking last night
what's keeping us here
not you, surely
not anyone, actually
so i was wondering about the fact
if you have any pills that might harm
and if we could meet at history in the
park while hiding behind hedges
we could down half a bottle each
and giggle as the clouds turn
orange and as the gun
shots that rain down from the heavens
as we take our leave and as the whispering people
beside us as we lift from out
our scarred and frayed
bodies and wait for the oh so gracious
lord to decide wether hell or
or heaven because suicide is a fucking sin
and oh god please rain down on us
and oh please look at me
fucking look at me and tell me what i'm doing is right
because it's not and i need your empty eyes
to at least make me feel better
so please baby
if you're reading this
know that i am here right now
and that